Childhood memories should be happy, right? So why is it that every time that I start trying to remember mine I get depressed and walk around all day on the edge of tears? Why do I have this incredibly sad, unhappy little boy trapped inside of me?
I went to sleep last night trying to remember some episode from my life that would be appropriate for this week's anamnesis prompt of illustration. I continued my walk down memory lane this morning and am wondering if I really want to continue. I was hoping for something humorous or entertaining. Instead I've reminded myself how much I hated my family life when I was growing up and how sad and lonesome and isolated I felt. At times I wonder if it was really that bad. Twenty-five years later I often tell myself it wasn't and that I blew things up out of proportion when I was a kid. On mornings like this I realize that I'm just whistling past the graveyard.
Maybe I'll share in the future. If I can do it without having a breakdown...
2 comments:
Sorry, many of my childhood memories are not good either. I think it is something my dad quoted from proverbs all the time.
22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
and...Proverbs 13:24 (King James Version)
24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
or my dad said Spare the rod, spoil the child.
It did not make for a pleasant childhood.
You'll almost never find references to my childhood in my blogs. Maybe because I seldom think about them anymore. My happiest memories in life are after I was grown and left home. About the only time I speak of my childhood is when talking to someone else who suffered growing up, and in the sharing we help each other heal. If you read about a happy incident from my childhood, you can just about guarantee that there is more to the story that I left out.
And I posted this just to say...you aren't alone.
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